i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I need water and some morals
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
