A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
