Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
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I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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