she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
