just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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