Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize