I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
did you just send me my own nude
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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