Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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