Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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