you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
