You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
