Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
