I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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