I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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