Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
