the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Randomize
