just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
