This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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