hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize