i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
