when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
