HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
