Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
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