I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
