i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
