reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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