yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Walk of Shame today included voting.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
