we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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