i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I'm getting married
To pizza
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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