no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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