then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Randomize
