Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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