i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
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