Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
