I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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