I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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