So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
