WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Randomize