he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
