how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
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