I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
