I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Randomize
