Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
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