Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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