What did we do last night that was yellow?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
