Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
