Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
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Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
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As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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