They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
