my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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