I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
No subtext here. People are naked.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
