brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Fuck appropriateness.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
