you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
