I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
But break dance skills will only take you so far
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Randomize
