Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
