How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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