Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
