we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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