spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
