margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Can i not drive my cunt home
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Shame - the story of my life.
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