So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
