His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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