So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Randomize
