I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize